I know

Driving up the coast of California to San Francisco is anexperience rooted in zen. There's hardly any traffic, the sceneryis refreshingly bucolic with a landscape so green it rivals bankvaults. I'm not a big fan of driving, especially after years ofhaving nerves worn down to stubs in Los Angeles traffic, but makingthe run up the coast to Frisco is something I'm usually willing todo.

So, when master Jihan Jae told me to come to San Francisco andinsisted that I drive instead of fly, I wasn't put off. I had knownof Jihan Jae's grandmaster status, the highest in the world ofHapkido, for a very long time, and when I had finally gotten him toagree to train me, I was already a black belt. It was the firsttime I would train with an Asian instructor as well. Up to thatpoint, all my instructors had been Americans and i felt a bit morepressure training with someone native to the culture that createdthe martial art. As though, I would somehow have more to live up to.
But pressure aside, I knew there was more to learn so I drove 8hours and paid him $100 an hour for three hours of instruction inadvance. This was 15 years ago, and back then, $100 was an evenmore exorbitant rate than it is now and for three times that much,I expected some high quality instruction.

So, after arriving at the Grandmaster's and going through my warmuproutine, we went onto the mat and began the lesson. Ten minutesinto the lesson, the Grandmaster asked me to do a sidekick, which Iof course did. He then informed me that my toes were up during thekick. As you probably know, your toes are supposed to be downduring the kick. I was aware of this mistake in my technique andresponded to his criticism with a flippant, "I know."

Upon hearing this, the Grandmaster bowed to me and replied, "good,then you don't need me," and walked away from the lesson. That'sit, it was over. Enraged at my lost money and time I packed up intomy car and headed back home, cursing the name Jihan Jae for 8 hoursworth of driving back home.But when I got home and had cooled my heels, I realized why he hadmade me drive to San Francisco. I called the Grandmaster later andapologized for running my mouth and he agreed to train me again.The time I spent driving and reflecting on this, luckily lead to anapology and a mended relationship.

The lesson I learned here was not to talk back to my teacher. Hispoint was that if I really did know that my form was wrong, then Itruly didn't need him, but because I said something without reallythinking it through, and I disrespected his role as a teacher topoint out what is incorrect, I forgot my role as a student, whichis to learn.

And at that moment, Jihan Jae had become my teacher as opposed tomy instructor, or a personal trainer whose motivations lie mostlywith the physical aspects of training and not with my character asthe Grandmaster was concerned with. And in that initial meeting, Ihad proven to him that my character needed a little shaping and hehad proven that to me through the school of hard knocks. He couldhave overlooked my little outburst and continued to train me, butin fact, his method was far more immediate and intrusive and Ilearned that lesson quick, let me tell you. But as students, it'simportant to remember that it's not our place to question what ourteacher tells us, or why. And as instructors it's up to us to teachlessons effectively, sometimes through tough love, and sometimesnot, but always teach the lesson.

So, Jihan Jae taught me that lesson, and after I called with myapology, he accepted to train with me. From then on, I didn't talkback, and I was a good student, and the Grandmaster was a greatteacher.

Warrior in the garden

It is better to be a warrior in the garden rather than a gardener in a war.

Never underestimate the power of dreams

Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.


My wife, Nina at her first pre-test, Malibu.

Stick to the Flight Plan

Somewhere in the middle of rushing between activities, places and people; somewhere in the crevices of our over-saturated work schedules there is the time we take for ourselves, the time we use to do something a little extra for ourselves; perhaps a hobby, or simply to relax and shut off our minds to reorganize our thoughts; a little R&R.

But often, in the struggle for balance, we forget just how much of what we should be doing. In one of my previous articles, I laid out the structure of a game called Running a Martial Arts School, and denoted the four levels of dedication that one can take up. These levels of dedication correspond to the balance that I'm now talking about. When you're fully dedicated to what you're doing, the balance of work and play is easy to find and maintain. You will do what you need to get done and still have time to play around.

But what happens if we are out of balance? What happens if we don't take care of business before pleasure? What happens if we have too many "extra" things in our lives? This is a common problem because people often forget what it is that they are supposed to be doing, and instead focus their attention on all the extra activities. This loss of focus is what leads people astray and away from their goals and as anyone who's been lost before knows, it's not easy to get back on track.

I've known many martial arts school owners who instead of teaching a foundation curriculum of basics with which their students can build knowledge from, teach less useful, unnecessary things; perhaps a technique they have invented but which are counterintuitive to the students' present curriculum. This confuses students and stunts their learning process. Or perhaps they will create a website for their school, but have no basic brochure. In either instance, the teacher is not taking care of basics first.

From another perspective, if I don't take care of my marital issues to my wife's satisfaction, then anytime I try to do something extra like buy flowers, etc., then she will see it as trite and patronizing. If I don't do what I'm supposed to do in a marriage, then everything that would be auxiliary to my marriage becomes even more unnecessary.

For a martial arts student, the most important thing is to make sure that you are focusing on your curriculum. When you are dedicated at your utmost to the program, then you can begin taking on ancillary studies to supplement whatever your core studies are.But always remember to build a foundation for knowledge first.

It is a little known fact that during a flight from Los Angeles to San Francisco, a plane is off course 98% of the time. But through minor corrections from the pilot, the flight arrives at its destination, on time, and with no detours. As soon as a pilot notices the plane being off-course, a small adjustment is made and by heading once again in the right direction, everyone gets where they're going because the pilot sticks to the flight plan.

Most people don't have a flight plan and it gets difficult to know when we're off course sometimes. But for the most part, through inherent feelings, or our social upbringing, most of us know what we're supposed to be doing to succeed in our lives, and that's our flight plan. Everything else is a distraction.

The Game

Before White BeltYou dream of being in the game
At White BeltYou decide to be in the game
At Orange BeltYou can see yourself playing the game
At Yellow BeltYou are introduced to the game
At Green BeltYou are invited to make a commitment to the game
At Blue BeltYou realize that the game is more than just a game
At Brown BeltYou realize that you have to earn your ticket to the game
At Red Belt and Red & Black BeltYou learn the ground rules for the game
Upon earning your 1st Degree Black BeltYou earn your ticket to the game
At 2nd Degree Black BeltYou realize that the game is just beginning
At 3rd Degree Black BeltYou realize that the game is never over
At 4th Degree Black BeltThe game is everywhere you look
At 5th Degree Black BeltYou think you know the game so well. You decide to have your own game.
At 6th degree Black BeltYou realize that you have always been in the game.You decide to be in the game. Again. No need to reinvent it.

My experience at a karate birthday party

As I opened my martial arts school one day, unlocked the door, turned on the lights, I began the normal work that led into a normal day. Classes began and ended as usual, and except for a birthday party for one of the kid's classes, the day would have passed on like any other.

We sometimes throw birthday parties for the younger children, and as part of the party, we bring out the birthday cake and cut it with a samurai sword. Just as a bit of fun, the kids like it, and it's a nice ending to the birthday ceremony.

At one of these birthdays, a young boy came in with his elder Japanese grandfather, who upon entering the building, sat in the corner and slumped over, watching the birthday activities without much interest. At the end of the ceremony, I brought out the sword as usual and prepared to cut the cake. But at the sight of the sword, the old man in the corner began to take notice. His eyes were fixed on me, his back straightened up as though his grade school teacher had walked by with a ruler, and he seemed to come alive at the sight of this sword.

I wondered what had made this man so alert and intent all of a sudden as he followed me with his eyes when I crossed the room with the sword toward the birthday cake. When I pressed the sword into the cake, out of the corner of my eye, I could see the old man shrink back down to his old, disinterested self, no doubt disappointed by the meaningless display of the sacred sword.From the instant that old man shrank down in disappointment, I experienced a personal failure, and when I made the decision not to use a sword in an inappropriate manner, I experienced a personal victory. Without having spoken a single word to the old man, he taught me so much, I have a renewed respect for the sword and its meaning, especially in the way of the samurai. And at the heart of this respect, I believe, is the desire to preserve the way of the past.

As the world around us has changed and is still, most of us who practice and teach the martial arts recognize the value of tradition and the importance of keeping it.As martial arts instructors, teaching our students the traditions of martial arts culture is just as important as the training. Our duty goes beyond merely teaching moves, but includes philosophy as well, and part of that philosophy is respecting the tools we use to empower ourselves, among them the samurai sword. Many Japanese warriors shed their blood on a thousand miles of battlefield to protect what was sacred to them, and the symbol of their dedication is the sword.

The Bushido Code itself makes a strong point of samurai keeping their military equipment in working order and high regard and proclaims that Japanese culture is different from others in that even lower class people such as farmers, merchants, and artisans all treasure a rusty short sword. As a symbol, the samurai sword empowers its owner, as a weapon, its deadliness is matched only by beauty. Such an iconic thing deserves respect, and as such, shouldn't be used to cut mere cakes at the behest of young students. Now, reflecting on my past usage of the sword, I see it was disgraceful, but having been taught a lesson, I now know that certain things may seem commonplace, but the reason for that is based in a deep tradition, and we should never forgot or violate that.

My Dog Kido

Last night when I got home I found my long time friend Kido (my dog) dead in the backyard.
He looked so peaceful just laying there. Kido loved everything and everyone. I knew it was going to be hard to do. I just never imagined it would be this hard. I mean, it's a dog. But I'm realizing, already, how integrated my dogs were in my daily life around the house. I can already feel something missing. No need to let him out tonight before I go to bed. No need to fill the water and food bowls.
I already lose it a little when I look at dog things. Dog foot prints in the yard. Flattened grass where he liked to roll around (and make dog snow angels). Chewed up sticks in the yard. But the hardest is going to be the kids, how do I tell them. They loved him so much.
So long, Kido. I'll miss you buddy.